ACT 3 SCENE 1

The wood. TITANIA lying asleep.
Enter QUINCE, SNUG, BOTTOM, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING.

BOTTOM
Are we all met?

QUINCE
Pat, pat; and here’s a marvellous convenient place for our rehearsal.
This green plot shall be our stage,
this hawthorn-brake our tiring-house;
and we will do it in action as we will do it before the duke.

BOTTOM
Peter Quince, —

QUINCE
What sayest thou, bully Bottom?

BOTTOM
There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and Thisby that will never please.
First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself;
which the ladies cannot abide.
How answer you that?

SNOUT
By’r lakin, a parlous fear.

STARVELING
I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done.

BOTTOM
Not a whit: I have a device to make all well.
Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say,
we will do no harm with our swords,
and that Pyramus is not killed indeed;
and, for the more better assurance,
tell them that I Pyramus am not Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver:
this will put them out of fear.

QUINCE
Well, we will have such a prologue;
and it shall be written in eight and six.

BOTTOM
No, make it two more;
let it be written in eight and eight.

SNOUT
Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?

STARVELING
I fear it, I promise you.

BOTTOM
Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves:
To bring in — God shield us! —
a lion among ladies, is a most dreadful thing;
for there is not a more fearful wild-fowl than your lion living:
and we ought to look to’t.

SNOUT
Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a lion.

BOTTOM
Nay, you must name his name,
and half his face must be seen through the lion’s neck;
and he himself must speak through,
saying thus, or to the same defect, —
‘Ladies,’ — or ‘Fair ladies, — I would wish You,’ —
or ‘I would request you,’ — or ‘I would entreat you, —
not to fear, not to tremble; my life for yours.
If you think I come hither as a lion, it were pity of my life.
no, I am no such thing; I am a man as other men are’;
and there indeed let him name his name,
and tell them plainly, he is Snug the joiner.

QUINCE
Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things;
that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber;
for, you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by moonlight.

SNOUT
Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?

BOTTOM
A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac;
Find out moonshine, find out moonshine.

QUINCE
Yes, it doth shine that night.

BOTTOM
Why, then may you leave a casement of the great chamber window, where we play, open,
and the moon may shine in at the casement.

QUINCE
Aye; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns and a lantern,
and say he comes to disfigure, or to present, the person of moonshine.
Then, there is another thing:
we must have a wall in the great chamber;
for Pyramus and Thisby, says the story,
did talk through the chink of a wall.

SNOUT
You can never bring in a wall.
What say you, Bottom?

BOTTOM
Some man or other must present wall:
and let him have some plaster, or some loam,
or some rough-cast about him, to signify wall;
and let him hold his fingers thus,
and through that cranny shall Pyramus and Thisby whisper.

QUINCE
If that may be, then all is well.
Come, sit down, every mother’s son, and rehearse your parts.
Pyramus, you begin:
when you have spoken your speech, enter into that brake:
and so every one according to his cue.

Enter PUCK behind.

PUCK
What hempen home-spuns have we swaggering here,
So near the cradle of the fairy queen?
What, a play toward! I’ll be an auditor;
An actor too perhaps, if I see cause.

QUINCE
Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.

BOTTOM
Thisby, the flowers of odious savours sweet —

QUINCE
Odours, odours.

BOTTOM
— odours savors sweet:
So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisby dear.
But hark, a voice! stay thou but here awhile,
And by and by I will to thee appear.
[Exit.]

PUCK
A stranger Pyramus than e’er played here.
[Exit.]

FLUTE
Must I speak now?

QUINCE
Aye, marry, must you; for you must understand
he goes but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come again.

FLUTE
Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,
Of color like the red rose on triumphant brier,
Most brisky juvenal, and eke most lovely Jew,
As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire,
I’ll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny’s tomb.

QUINCE
‘Ninus’ tomb,’ man: why, you must not speak that yet;
that you answer to Pyramus:
you speak all your part at once, cues and all.
Pyramus enter: your cue is past; it is, ‘never tire.’

FLUTE
O, — As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire.

Re-enter PUCK, and BOTTOM with an ass’s head.

BOTTOM
If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine.

QUINCE
O monstrous! O strange! we are haunted.
Pray, masters! fly, masters! Help!
[Exeunt QUINCE, SNUG, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING.]

PUCK
I’ll follow you, I’ll lead you about a round,
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:
Sometime a horse I’ll be, sometime a hound,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.
[Exit.]

BOTTOM
Why do they run away?
this is a knavery of them to make me afeard.

Re-enter SNOUT.

SNOUT
O Bottom, thou art changed!
what do I see on thee?

BOTTOM
What do you see?
you see an ass-head of your own, do you?
[Exit SNOUT.]

Re-enter QUINCE.

QUINCE
Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! thou art translated.
[Exit.]

BOTTOM
I see their knavery:
this is to make an ass of me;
to fright me, if they could.
But I will not stir from this place, do what they can:
I will walk up and down here, and I will sing,
that they shall hear I am not afraid.[Sings]
The ousel cock so black of hue, With orange-tawny bill,
The throstle with his note so true, The wren with little quill.

TITANIA [Awaking]
What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

BOTTOM [Sings]
The finch, the sparrow, and the lark, The plain-song cuckoo gray,
Whose note full many a man doth mark,
And dares not answer nay; —
for, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish a bird?
who would give a bird the lie, though he cry ‘cuckoo’ never so?

TITANIA
I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again:
Mine ear is much enamour’d of thy note;
So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;
And thy fair virtue’s force perforce doth move me
On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.

BOTTOM
Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason for that:
and yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together now-a-days;
The more the pity, that some honest neighbors will not make them friends.
Nay, I can gleek upon occasion.

TITANIA
Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.

BOTTOM
Not so, neither:
but if I had wit enough to get out of this wood,
I have enough to serve mine own turn.

TITANIA
Out of this wood do not desire to go:
Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.
I am a spirit of no common rate;
The summer still doth tend upon my state;
And I do love thee; therefore, go with me;
I’ll give thee fairies to attend on thee,
And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep,
And sing, while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep:
And I will purge thy mortal grossness so,
That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.
Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustardseed!

Enter PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED.

PEASEBLOSSOM
Ready.

COBWEB
And I.

MOTH
And I.

MUSTARDSEED
And I.

ALL
Where shall we go?

TITANIA
Be kind and courteous to this gentleman;
Hop in his walks, and gambol in his eyes;
Feed him with apricocks and dewberries,
With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries;
The honey-bags steal from the humble-bees,
And for night-tapers crop their waxen thighs,
And light them at the fiery glow-worm’s eyes,
To have my love to bed and to arise;
And pluck the wings from painted butterflies,
To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes:
Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.

PEASEBLOSSOM
Hail, mortal!

COBWEB
Hail!

MOTH
Hail!

MUSTARDSEED
Hail!

BOTTOM
I cry your worships mercy, heartily:
I beseech your worship’s name.

COBWEB
Cobweb.

BOTTOM
I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good Master Cobweb:
If I cut my finger, I shall make bold with you.
Your name, honest gentleman?

PEASEBLOSSOM
Peaseblossom.

BOTTOM
I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your mother,
and to Master Peascod, your father.
Good Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of more acquaintance too.
Your name, I beseech you, Sir?

MUSTARDSEED
Mustardseed

BOTTOM
Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience well:
that same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef hath devoured many a gentleman of your house:
I promise you your kindred hath made my eyes water ere now.
I desire your more acquaintance, good Master Mustardseed.

TITANIA
Come, wait upon him; lead him to my bower.
The moon methinks looks with a watery eye; And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,
Lamenting some enforced chastity.
Tie up my love’s tongue, bring him silently.
[Exeunt.]

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